~A Packed Suitcase~

I have no idea why, but when I was all of 6 years of age, I had a horrible fear of dying in a fire.  The fear for me was absolutely terrifying.

I could not explain it, nor could I understand it.  I simply had an irrational fear of a fire breaking out in my home and becoming trapped and dying.  I also feared trying to get out of the fire, but leaving something behind.

I also had visions, or more of what I thought was a memory of being in a log home and there being a fire.  The vision terrified me yet made no sense.  I had never been in a log home.  I had also never been in a fire.

I have no idea where the vision came from, it was simply in my mind and had been for quite some time.  I was convinced that I had at one time or another been in a fire. I even knew what I looked like at the time the fire happened and that I was a little girl then too. 

I "knew" this because I remembered it, it was a very strong vivid memory that I seemed to be recalling.  I even remembered what I was wearing.

I remembered it, and I knew that I did not want it to ever happen again.

Because of this fear, I kept a suitcase of mine packed with a few of my things, including some of my beloved stuffed animals.  I kept that suitcase on my bedroom floor in a spot where one could easily grab it if in a hurry.

I believed that in the event of a fire, I'd be able to grab my most prized possessions that were in that little suitcase of mine, and I could then flee safely.  And, nothing would get left behind.

My parents would ask me about this irrational fear of mine and yet I couldn't explain it.  I know it bothered them to see me so scared and worried over it.  Simply talking to my parents about it, I would become so upset that I would erupt into tears.

I remember one night while tucking me into bed, my dad asked me where my fear and vision had come from.  He wanted to know if I had seen something on television.  I told him no, I hadn't, and that was the truth.  I told him that I had no idea where my vision came from or why I thought what I did.  And I really didn't know or understand any of it.  But to me it was all very real.

Both my mom and dad would continually try and reassure me that I had nothing to fear, that our home had lots of big windows, working smoke detectors, and that if anything were to happen, we would all be able to get out safely. 

I was not so easily convinced and still insisted on keeping that little suitcase of mine packed "just in case."

One night while sleeping, I was awakened by a woman softly calling my name.  I was really tired and only opened my eyes slightly at first. 

I was laying in my bed on my left side, and when I opened my eyes, I saw what I can only describe as a beautiful woman in a soft billowy white gown, floating in the middle of my bedroom. 

She was beautiful, with long, dark brown hair that seemed to be blowing softly around her, and the long white gown she was wearing was blowing, billowing around her as well. 

Her eyes were beautiful and the brightest blue I had ever seen.  They almost seemed to sparkle.

There was a tremendous bright white light behind her and just slightly above her.  The light filled my entire room, it was so bright. 

I was not afraid at all.  I was completely awestruck and overwhelmed with feelings of love and complete calm.

She slowly floated down closer to me.  She sat down on the side of my bed and began stroking my forehead.

I was overcome with total calm and peacefulness.  I felt nothing but immense love emanating from this beautiful woman.  I immediately thought that she must be one of God's angels.

She smiled at me and said, "I want you to know that you are completely safe now.  No harm can come to you.  No harm will come to you.  Let go of your past and enjoy now." 

I felt so calm and sleepy.  She continued to gently stroke my forehead.  She then told me she loved me and did not want me to fear anymore. 

I closed my eyes and fell asleep.  When I awoke again, it was morning.

I looked over at my suitcase that was lying on my floor, and decided it was dumb to keep it packed, and I thought it was silly for me to be afraid. 

 

I immediately got out of my bed, went over and picked up the suitcase.  I placed the suitcase on my bed and began unpacking everything.

Later that morning my mom noticed the suitcase was no longer on my floor.  She asked me about it, and I told her that I wasn't scared anymore.  I told her all about the visit from the angel and I told her that I unpacked the suitcase and put everything away.

My mom just looked at me and said, "Really?"  I smiled and said, "Yep."

And I never suffered from that same fear again. 

 

 

 

 

 

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