I immediately headed to the hospital. Once at the hospital I was rushed into a room and given a gown to change in to.
I was bleeding so heavily that an i.v was started on me at once, in the expectation that I might end up needing a blood transfusion.
The doctor came into the room pretty much immediately and tried to reassure me that while I was bleeding very heavily, I may not necessarily be miscarrying. He was very kind and very compassionate. He asked to perform a pelvic exam to check me.
Sure enough, he confirmed what I more or less expected. I was miscarrying. He informed me that my cervix was slightly dilated and I was passing "products of conception", as he called it.
The doctor then informed me that I was going to need an operation to remove everything from my uterus. A procedure called a D&C. I was told that while I was already bleeding very heavily, the bleeding may get even heavier. The doctor left the room to go page the surgeon that would be performing the procedure.
I was devastated. I very much wanted the pregnancy to continue. I was crying so hard. My mom and boyfriend had accompanied me to the hospital. They both tried to reassure me by reiterating what the doctor had said, that these things sometimes happen and that no one knows why. My mom tried to make me feel better by telling me that the day would come that I would go on to have a healthy pregnancy and baby.
I didn't want to hear any of it. I was so angry and upset. I didn't want another pregnancy or baby, I wanted the one I was losing.
My mom had left the room and it was just my boyfriend and I. My nurse administered me some pain medication through my i.v to try and ease the horrible abdominal pain I was having.
She told me that the pain medication would make me very sleepy, so she dimmed the lights in my room. The doctor, as well as the nurses had encouraged me to try and get a bit of sleep. I was told it could be hours before I would be taken into surgery.
My boyfriend was falling asleep while sitting up in one of the bedside chairs. I was tired to begin with since it was all of 6 a.m, and the pain medication I had been given was making me even more drowsy. But I did not want to sleep.
While laying in the hospital bed, I suddenly had the most incredible "knowing". No one spoke to me, I heard no voices, but I simply "knew" beyond a word of a doubt that I should not have surgery.
I know it sounds completely crazy and I can not explain it, but it was as if someone was giving me the knowledge. It was the most intense sensation I have ever experienced in my entire life.
All of a sudden, I just knew for a fact that if I had the surgery, something was going to go wrong and I would die and it was not yet my time to die. I knew that if I died now, not only mine, but other people's purposes, especially my children, would not be accomplished in this lifetime as they were supposed to be.
I suddenly knew that my life still had so much in store yet. I suddenly knew that I would go on to have children, and that I was meant to. I also knew that I was to go on to become a registered nurse as I was meant to. I knew this with every single ounce of my being.
I knew that if I left the hospital I would be fine. I knew that my body was going to pass everything on its own and once it did, the bleeding would slow down and stop in a few days. But I was absolutely NOT to have the surgery.
I called out to my boyfriend. He bolted awake and I told him everything that I was thinking and feeling. He reminded me what the doctor and nurses had told me, that if I didn't have the surgery that I would continue to bleed profusely and could hemorrhage. I told him that I knew without a doubt that would not happen.
I then pressed my call bell. My nurse came immediately. I told her that I wanted to talk to the doctor because I wanted to go home. I told her that I was not going to have the surgery.
My nurse reminded me again of the possibility of bleeding and urged me to stay and have the D&C performed. I told her that there was no way I was going to have the surgery.
My nurse encouraged me to talk with the doctor again. Sure enough, a few minutes later the doctor entered my room. He tried persuading me too. But I told him in no uncertain terms I was going home.
He told me that while I did not have to consent to the surgery, if I left I would be doing so against medical advice. He then pleaded with me to stay just a bit longer and talk to the surgeon. Because he was such a kind, caring doctor, I agreed to that.
The doctor left the room, and I ended up falling asleep. A couple of hours later they transferred me up to a in-patient room on one of the surgical units to wait for the surgeon.
While waiting for the surgeon, I told my mom everything. My mom told me that she thought it was best for me to stay and have the surgery. I told her no and I told her that I knew for certain I would pass everything on my own and I was not going to need the surgery. My mom then said that it could be days before everything passed. I told her that I didn't think it would take that long.
A short time later, my abdominal cramps got stronger. I got up to use the washroom. I headed into the washroom and discovered something in my underwear, on the pad I was wearing. I rang for my nurse.
My nurse came immediately, took one look and told me that I had passed the placenta. I asked her if that meant I had passed everything. She told me no, that there could still be fetal tissue inside my uterus. I asked her what fetal tissue looked like. She told me, and then she told me how to determine whether I was passing blood clots, or if it was fetal tissue. The nurse then left to call the surgeon to tell him I had passed the placenta.
A few minutes later, the surgeon came into my room and told me that he had just come out of surgery and that it was the first time he had any free time all day, that he had been in back-to-back surgeries. He apologized for making me wait so long.
I had been at the hospital since approximately 5:30 a.m, and it was now after 8 o'clock at night.
He basically went on to tell me what the nurse had said, that I could still have "products of conception" in my uterus, and if I did I would continue to bleed heavily. He told me that I could also develop a bad infection if the fragments were left in my uterus.
I dismissed everything he told me and told him that I wanted him to discharge me. He said he would, but he informed me that I would have to sign some papers, acknowledging that I was going home against medical advice and doctors orders. I told him that was fine.
While leaving the unit, my nurse approached me and gave me a hug. She told me she hated to see me leave, and told me that she was worried about me. I smiled and told her that I knew I was going to be just fine. She asked me how I knew that and I told her, "I'm not really sure, I just know."
My bleeding did get lighter over the course of the evening, and for the next few days the bleeding was very minimal. I did go on to pass more fetal tissue but after a couple of days the bleeding turned to light spotting and then simply stopped.
I followed up with my OB/GYN a few days after that as recommended by the emergency room doctor. My OB/GYN gave me a pelvic exam and ordered an ultrasound. She discovered that I was fine and that there was nothing in my uterus. She told me that I was lucky because I did in fact pass everything.
I eventually went on to fulfill the purposes that I somehow came to know I was meant to fulfill.
I did go on to become pregnant again, in fact I became pregnant four more times, and I am now the mom of four amazing children.
I am also a licensed registered nurse.
I do not know as of right now what else it is that my life has in store for me, but I'm happy just taking it one day at a time.
I must note that since that day, I have had a handful of surgeries , yet I have never had that same foreboding feeling prior to any of the surgeries I had to have. Also, every single surgery I have had has gone well, as did my recovery.
Copyright © 2013 A Haunted Life
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