One night, while laying with me in my bed, my youngest son was telling me all about his day. He was talking about all of the things he had done with my dad while spending time with him earlier that day.
It was so adorable, he told me, "Mommy, I really love Papa a lot. He's a really good guy." I couldn't help but smile. It was so cute.
He then asked me, "Mommy how old is Papa?" I said, "He's 65". My son said, "That's old." He then began to cry. I immediately wiped away the tears that fell from his eyes. I kissed him on his head, hugged him and said, "Aww honey, why are you crying?"
He said, "65 is old. Papa's old, he's gonna' die soon. I don't want him to die. If Papa dies, I'm gonna' be really sad, I'm gonna' really miss him."
I could feel tears welling up in my own eyes and I said, "Aww honey, Papa's not going anywhere. Papa's healthy. Don't worry about anything happening to Papa. He'll probably live to be really, really old. Older than all of us." My son sort of smiled through his tears.
I then said, "Besides, Papa won't die, he's too crabby and God doesn't want crabby people up in heaven right now."
My son looked at me and laughed. He then said, "Papa's not crabby." I just smiled at him.
I then told him that he shouldn't worry about anyone dying. I told him that we don't know when someone we love will die, and there is no point in worrying about it.
I told him that when someone we love does die, then we'll be sad, but there is no point in being sad before that. I also told him that, "In the meantime, all we should worry about is loving the people we love and giving them lots of hugs and kisses and telling them all the time how much we love them".
My son smiled. He then asked me about my grandparents, who I often talk about. He asked me if I was sad when they died. I told him that I was very sad. I told him that even though it's been a long time since they passed away, I still miss them. But I told him that I'm not sad because I know that one day when I'm really old and I die, I'll be with them again in heaven.
My son then said, "Yeah, and dying is no big deal." I immediately looked at him and said, "What?" He said, "Yeah, dying isn't scary. We died before lots of times and we'll die again." I just looked at him. He looked at me and smiled and said, "What mommy? What's wrong?" I said, "You're talking about dying. You died lots of times?" He said, "Yeah, we all do." I asked him, "You lived before and you died?" He said, "Yeah but I don't really remember it now. I did before but not now." I just kept staring at my son.
He is such a little bundle of love and has been such a tremendously happy child right from the time he was born. While laying there with him I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with so much love for him as well as immense gratitude. I am so grateful to have him in my life. I hugged him tightly and told him, "Well, I'm glad you're here again with me in this lifetime because I love you so much."
He hugged me back and said, "I love you much too mommy."
Copyright © 2013 A Haunted Life
Thanks for that. I often worry about my mom dying, she is my best friend, even as I write this I'm crying. But your right I should just enjoy the moments we have.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading my post.
DeletePlease do not fear the unknown. If there is one thing my various experiences have taught me, it is that our loved ones never, ever truly leave us.
As you have wisely pointed out, do not fear what time you have left. Be sure to enjoy every single moment you do have. Make sure you tell your mom how much you love her. Leave no matters of the heart unspoken and be sure to love and cherish her while you still have her.
And believe me, you are not alone in your fears. I am like you, in that I dread what my life would be like or will be like one day without some very dear loved ones in my life. Most specifically my parents.
I am very fortunate in that I have been blessed with wonderful parents. I can not imagine my life without them. In fact, the first person I have always called as soon as I have good news to share, or something to discuss, is my dad. Also, whenever something is troubling me, and I need to talk something out, he is the first person I call. He has always been my source of strength and my voice of reason.
I know that one day, when his time here on earth is complete, I will have to go on living without him. I can't even begin to imagine how I will go on without him. Gee, I too am crying just thinking about it. Lol. But, I also know that he will leave here and although I will miss him terribly, he will be reunited with all of his long departed loved ones.
While I will mourn and miss him and grieve, he will be celebrating his arrival to the other side with people he loved dearly in this lifetime and lost, specifically his mom and dad and his beloved little niece. And, I will speak of him fondly, carrying on his memory. His smile and sense of humour will live on, for I see it already in each of my children.
That witty glint he gets in his eyes, I see at times in my children. I will hear his voice of reason within me, and I will go on, just as he would want me to. I will continue to live my life just as fully, as he would very much want me to. And, as my time passes here, I will get closer to the day when I will see him again.
And all of that is the same for you, for all of us in regards to our loved ones. So, don't fret, simply live your life as fully as you can.
In Love and Light xo